Patience

How does one get/learn patience?
Easy way is to come to Africa. There is little hurry, minimal time concern and the focus is on helping others, not offending them and being polite, all tools to maintain relationships.

When I was working in CA I frequently was frustrated by how slowly agreements were reached, activities accomplished afterwards and hated to be kept waiting for an appointment. I did learn to take a book with me to the doctor's office to keep occupied in the case s/he was running late. But I still hated it.

Imagine how it was to find that standing in a queue (line) that is 20 people long, standing about 4" apart and moving at the rate of one foot every 20 minutes was standard in order to pay bills for water, electricity. There is not home mail delivery and checks are still a new service with banks so many places won't accept them.

I did the standing in line thing for a while, but found as many ways to avoid it as possible. I paid bills every other month, sent Nasser, Ruth, or anyone else willing to go, to stand for me. Eventually I found that if I paid early in the morning at a local office for the water, only 3 people were usually there. The electric I pay through my bank, but sometimes the line there is almost as long as at the office downtown.

Mail from CA takes 3 weeks to get here. So...I go to the Post Office only 2x month. I don't get much snail mail, mostly stuff from AARP. At least there is no waiting to get into my p.o. box :)

Waits at the doctor's and dentist's office are surprisingly short, less than 15 minutes usually. I like that a lot.

Internet users are highly excited, for fiber optics have just arrived in Kampala. Now there is hope of connection speeds much better than the 2Kb/sec that are average here on the dial type connections transmitted over the cell phone towers. The broadband likely won't be in my price range, but enough businesses and "big" people will switch that the speeds for us plebes should get better.

Any thing that you are looking for, a new office supply, specific piece of apparel, car part, etc, requires you to go looking (or send some one) in several places. I haven't yet found the equivalent of the yellow pages that we can use. Once you do find the source, you are determined to remember where they are located for the next time the need arises. You may seek them again and find they have moved, are no longer in business, etc. And it definitely is Buyer Beware for all sales, purchases. There generally isn't a return policy. If you have a good relationship with the business owner, it may turn out OK.

After 4 years, I am still learning, and learning to appreciate more and more about the importance of taking time with people. This is where my shift in values away from the focus on time, from the quick, correct outcome to being with and listening to people's stories has developed much more patience in me than I ever imagined. (I didn't realize I needed it so much!) In the greater scheme of things, whether someone is on time, 2 hours or a day late, doesn't matter as much as what is happening in the life of that person now. People who work for me are willing to talk about their lives, kids, hopes, etc, but only if I ask and sit with them.

So patience just comes from practice and perseverance. It is a good thing to have an abundance of.