Patience

How does one get/learn patience?
Easy way is to come to Africa. There is little hurry, minimal time concern and the focus is on helping others, not offending them and being polite, all tools to maintain relationships.

When I was working in CA I frequently was frustrated by how slowly agreements were reached, activities accomplished afterwards and hated to be kept waiting for an appointment. I did learn to take a book with me to the doctor's office to keep occupied in the case s/he was running late. But I still hated it.

Imagine how it was to find that standing in a queue (line) that is 20 people long, standing about 4" apart and moving at the rate of one foot every 20 minutes was standard in order to pay bills for water, electricity. There is not home mail delivery and checks are still a new service with banks so many places won't accept them.

I did the standing in line thing for a while, but found as many ways to avoid it as possible. I paid bills every other month, sent Nasser, Ruth, or anyone else willing to go, to stand for me. Eventually I found that if I paid early in the morning at a local office for the water, only 3 people were usually there. The electric I pay through my bank, but sometimes the line there is almost as long as at the office downtown.

Mail from CA takes 3 weeks to get here. So...I go to the Post Office only 2x month. I don't get much snail mail, mostly stuff from AARP. At least there is no waiting to get into my p.o. box :)

Waits at the doctor's and dentist's office are surprisingly short, less than 15 minutes usually. I like that a lot.

Internet users are highly excited, for fiber optics have just arrived in Kampala. Now there is hope of connection speeds much better than the 2Kb/sec that are average here on the dial type connections transmitted over the cell phone towers. The broadband likely won't be in my price range, but enough businesses and "big" people will switch that the speeds for us plebes should get better.

Any thing that you are looking for, a new office supply, specific piece of apparel, car part, etc, requires you to go looking (or send some one) in several places. I haven't yet found the equivalent of the yellow pages that we can use. Once you do find the source, you are determined to remember where they are located for the next time the need arises. You may seek them again and find they have moved, are no longer in business, etc. And it definitely is Buyer Beware for all sales, purchases. There generally isn't a return policy. If you have a good relationship with the business owner, it may turn out OK.

After 4 years, I am still learning, and learning to appreciate more and more about the importance of taking time with people. This is where my shift in values away from the focus on time, from the quick, correct outcome to being with and listening to people's stories has developed much more patience in me than I ever imagined. (I didn't realize I needed it so much!) In the greater scheme of things, whether someone is on time, 2 hours or a day late, doesn't matter as much as what is happening in the life of that person now. People who work for me are willing to talk about their lives, kids, hopes, etc, but only if I ask and sit with them.

So patience just comes from practice and perseverance. It is a good thing to have an abundance of.

Family

Here in Uganda, and maybe for most of Africa, family relationships are the heart of one's thinking, choices, life. It is unthinkable to be away from the village with all the grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters. People save money, even not eating, so they can go home, not just for Christmas, but any long week-end. They go home, too, for each and every funeral, wedding, and many births (this more for sisters I think).

The fact that I have chosen to stay on in Uganda while my family moves back to the States is amazing to them. They comment that it must be God calling me to be here for what else could separate one from loved ones?

It is God's calling into this time in my life. But I haven't lost a family, I gained an even bigger one. People from church, especially those working here who are single, have called me and given me extra hugs. Melody even came by one afternoon, just to make sure I was alright. Nasser, my adopted son here, made a point of saying he was here for me. Florence, Rachel and Miriam are all keeping an eye on me and ensuring that laughter continues in my life.

Several families have agreed to share their children with me. I believe that couples have to have "date" time together and that is hard to come by here. Leaving kids with househelp isn't the best solution for an all day or an overnight, for the home rhythmns between Ugandan and western are very different. So I will have youngsters in my life sometimes, have many friends and allies to play and dine with.

Life is an adventure. I am always amazed at who God puts into my life and all the blessings that flow from that. It doesn't always come just from having people share my home either. There are so many ways of being, doing and seeing in this world. We never have to be bored. I look around around me and see such beautiful variety of people, of ways of being loving and caring. I am hungry to learn more.

Change changes

July 8th the judge for the High Court of Uganda granted the petition for finalizing the adoption of Miriam and Moses by Chad and Shanthi Gamble. They are officially ours!!

Now the US Embassy needs the paperwork to process the papers that allows the kids to become US citizens when they land on US soil. As soon as that is accomplished the Gambles will leave for their new life in the States: meeting with friends and family, debriefing on 6 years here with eMi, locating a place to live, job, school, church, etc.

My life will change too. No more grandkids of my own to spend time with, play with and listen to. Also happening: the goat babies go to be with the other goats; a move, sometime in the next 4-6 weeks, to a slightly larger house about 3 blocks from this one; a trip to Kenya, to a village for 7 days; and perhaps "teaching" a class on taking the SAT at Heritage next year (1 hour/day, 2 days/wk).

I have offered to be surrogate "grannie" for kids whose families attend my church, and for eMi families as well. Got to keep up with the latest thing important to little ones or I won't know quite how to stay up with the 4 going to the States.

Life is full of changes. I think God must really, really like change and variety, for that is reflected in the natural world all around us, all the time. An African saying is "Change changes". At first I didn't understand what it meant. But after 4 years here, I think I finally have at least a small handle on it. Each new adventure in my life begins with some kind of change, big or small. All I have to do is go along for the ride.

Typical morning

Here is what my morning was like:

8:45 milk man arrived. bought 10 cups (about 1 1/2 gal) and boiled it for later use.
9:30 called my boda, Nasser, and went to an ATM about 10 min from here. No ATM card in my purse, so went back home, purchaseing sausages from the butchery and some passion fruit from the sidewalk vendor along the way.
10:15 found my card inside my passport! How did it get there?? This card is my only link to getting funds from the US. Without it, I'd be really sunk...
Take Nasser, go back to ATM, get funds. Ride to town. park on the street near a large mall, Garden City, so I can walk down to the store that sells the DVDs that I have to return. Then back to find Nasser. We went next to a shop to have the 5 staff ID cards laminated. While that was happening, we dashed to the fabric row of small shops for fabric for new table cloths and napkins. (Tomorrow is the 4th and I did want some red, white and blue decor.)
After buying the fabric, back to pick up the cards, then to the post office to check mail (the first of 2 checks i'll do this month), then to the supermarket for items for the breakast for 12 I'm making tomorrow. While I was busy, Nasser went across the street to pay my electric bill for me [about $70 for 2 months].

On the way home, we stop to purchase 4 large mangos for 2000/= (about $1) Finally we get back to the house about 12;15. What a great day. All the errands done, no accidents, and everything done on my list.

I love going places with Nasser. He is a safe driver, helpful with shopping and considerate of others need.